Hipster Doofus Defence

I'll admit it. I'm a closet celebrity gossip junky. The Superficial is my regular lunchtime reading (while eating at my desk, like the hard-working suit that I am). Today, it almost made me fall out of my chair laughing. But not for the actual gossip. It was for these step-by-step instructions on how to defend against a verbal attack by David Arquette.

Because there's nothing more terrifying than a hipster doofus in your grill. I mean, seriously. All you have to do is say Bright Eyes sounds just like Arcade Fire then, when he rambles on for five hours, you beat him over the head with his Mac Powerbook.

It's funny because it's true! Seriously. I live on Queen West and work at an advertising agency. I know from hipster doofi.