Pat Robertson is on Crack

This is far too hi-larious for me to even feel outrage.

Robertson Blames Hurricane On Choice Of Ellen Degeneres To Host Emmys

Hollywood – Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. “By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”

Robertson also noted that the last time Degeneres hosted the Emmys, in 2001, the September 11 terrorism attacks took place shortly before the ceremony.

Cause the attacks surely didn’t have anything to do with the arrogant, close-minded, right-wing Christian beliefs of Jebus-freaks like Robertson.
“This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”

Robertson added that other tragedies of the past several years can be linked to Degeneres’ growing national prominence. September, 2003, for example, is both the month that her talk show debuted and when insurgents first gained a foothold in Iraq following the successful March invasion. “Now we know why things took a turn for the worse,” he explained.

You mean it wasn’t Dubya’s extreme ineptitude as a world leader?
In order to avoid further tragedy, Robertson called not only for the Television Academy to find a new heterosexual host, but to bar all homosexuals and bisexuals from taking part in the ceremony.

He said employees at the Christian Broadcasting Network had put together a list of 283 nominees, presenters, and invited guests at the Emmys known to be of sexually deviant persuasions.

“God already allows one awards show to promote the homosexual agenda,” Robertson declared. “But clearly He will not tolerate such sinful behavior to spread beyond the Tonys.”
Well at least now I'm clear on where God draws the line.

2 comments:

Erin said...

Ha! I put this in my blog too. I swear, you don't even have to try and be funny when ol' Pat gives you shit like this to just post and laugh your ass off over!

Mat-E said...

What I have to say to Pat on this one:
1.Ever heard of Sodom and Gomorrah, a.k.a. sin city? N.O. fits the profile pretty well from what I've seen on 'Girls Gone Wild'. Ever think that maybe you Jebus lovers got it all wrong, and like all extremists you are taking the word literally instead of spiritually?
2.(all the more valid now that there's another Cat IV heading for Texas) Maybe all the Muslims in the middle east asked Allah to destroy North America's oil refining capabilities so they'd be the only oil source...who's got who by the balls now, eh Pat? Based on your recent idiotic statements about Hugo Chavez, I don't think he'll be rushing to your aid...